The "Before" and "After" Image

Mockingbird  
Blog Post #4

As I was reading the book, Mockingbird, by Kathryn Erskine, I've realized how much the word "empathy" was mentioned. The main heroin Caitlin, is a ten-year old fifth grader with Asperger's syndrome who could not make sense of anything, especially after the death of her beloved brother, Devon. Her straight forward personality had cost her a lot. She is forced to be surrounded by only colors of black and white, mix with some shades of gray—the color of loneliness. But, as the storyline proceeds, she seems to discover the beauty in the world. The colors of joy. I think she sort of changed from the beginning to the end. I certainly believe that there has been a huge difference between the Caitlin "before, and the Caitlin "after".

Basically, in the first place, she was a little girl that questions everything—true or not true, churlish or not churlish. I understand that this is because of the fact that she does not quite understand the emotions of people—the main thing that classifies human beings. She was the lonely person who likes to suck on her sleeves. “Empathy isn't as hard as it sounds because people have a lot of the same feelings. And it helps to understand other people because then you can actually care about them sometimes. And help them. And have a friend,” said Mrs. Brook, the school counselor. Caitlin's way of trying to be nice to someone is pretty strange. She wanted to make a girl, Rachel, who's face was full of bruises, to feel less embarrassed by putting her chair in the corner, thinking that this way, no one can see her face and that she can finally hide from everyone else. However, I feel this only makes Rachel feel that she wanted to get rid of her by putting her in the corner since her back was to the face of everybody else.

At the beginning of the story, I can tell that Caitlin's life was so emotionless because she didn't quite understand how to put herself into someone's else shoe. She doesn't know how to care for someone else. That's why she lacks friends. Friendship is something absolutely required for a person. I believe that no one can be on the top of the world without a stick to rely on. "You step out of your own shoes and put on someone else's because you're trying to BE that person for a moment," says Mrs. Brook. This is what Caitlin should do. And that's what she did.

Without a question mark, I can tell the changes applied to her slowly as she learned to feel for someone. She had approached her first step. It seems to be that she is starting to understand the hardships her father is facing and so she tried to help him get over the day they fell apart (when Devon died). As it gets towards the end of the book, she learned the meaning of "closure", an often comforting or satisfying sense of finality, and decided, and that's just what they needed to get over Devon's death. While she was helping his father, I figured that she was also rescuing herself from the world of darkness. She was also wanting to actually make friends. No longer was she the girl in the corner all by herself. I realized that Caitlin was changing her life using her own hands for a better situation. She was becoming to realize who she is, what defines her, and what is feelings. Clearly, she had changed from the beginning to the end.

Indeed, transforming from one thing to another is difficult. It's not easily to overcome a barrier that had locked you in from the outside world, that had disconnected you from the society. That describes Caitlin perfectly. She was able to learn the importance of friendship to overcome herself and understand how to feel what others felt. I can relate to her since being alone is not an easy task. It is like talking to a wall. It is a challenge for me because friends are one of the main "materials" that keep you strong. I think Caitlin is just troubled because of the sudden changes in her life. Overall, I feel that Caitlin had matured a lot throughout the book and really grow up from it.